Things That Do Not Fit Under Muni Seats

having fun with the shopping cart

Maybe I haven’t seen everything about Muni. Standing on the sidewalk at Van Ness and McAllister, last Friday at about 5:30 p.m., I had to pinch myself to make sure I was seeing right. A guy was getting on the rear most door of a Muni bus (illegally of course), struggling with three things: two large duffle type bags and (!) a regular size grocery store cart.

Yes, a shopping cart one would use at Safeway! Amazingly he got it on – all of it. After the bit of work he did, I noticed an inspector flailing his arms as he tried to make his way down the now crowded bus, yelling “no, no, no, you can’t…”. The man obliged by tossing the cart out the same back door right onto the middle of the bus zone on the street.

I was so in awe of the scene I didn’t even remember I had my camera with me and didn’t take a picture šŸ™

If you find yourself witness to odd boardings, or have any other Muni stories to tell, tell it here.

Photo by Flickr user jpockele.

Usually, It’s a Man Pleasing Himself in Public…

Lately Muni Diaries has been an unexpected place to learn about various fetishes. By now you’ve probably read or heard about the Muni Humper, who is technically a “frotter” – someone who gets pleasure from brushing against people. We’ve got the occasional exhibitionist (remember the ever-popular “public penis” guy?). And we just received this diary submission from Muni rider Nina Peters:

I was waiting for the J Church in front of Safeway (Church and Duboce) when I heard the faint ramblings of a crack whore in the distance. I was not concerned. I mean, the area is prone to these folks. But, I did notice that while walking down Church towards Market, she rubbed her hand on every car. It looked like she was just being the normal weirdo that I’ve come to love while living in SF- but there was definitely something strange in the air.

I continued to watch from the train stop island, and it paid off. When she finally reached a car to her liking, a light silvery-blue BMW, she jumped on the hood and began to masturbate on the hood. I was shocked. I’ve seen plenty of men in corners whacking away at the goods, but I’ve NEVER seen a woman in broad daylight go to town on the hood of a car in public. My train came and as it turned down the tunnel I craned my neck to be witness to the grand finale. But, as quickly as she had cum, she was gone.

Hmm. Expensive-Import-Car-Philia?

We’re always looking for educational Muni tales! Come on, don’t be shy.

 

Brownie-town on the 49

brownie

I ride the 49 every day to get home, and so do a lot of terrible teenagers (redundant?) who attend Balboa Galileo High School on Van Ness and Bay. At best, they’re usually just screaming about this, that and the other, possibly hoping their volume will increase their level of importance on the bus. There’s often a non-teenage screamer on the bus and a vivid assortment of rude, pleasant, happy, friendly and too-friendly people also, just to add some color to my little cross-town line.

Because the 49 does cross town, I try to understand when it’s mildly gross. A bag of smashed chips at your feet here, a little pile of sunflower seeds there. But I draw the line at what looks like real effort to get moist foodstuffs caked on the bus. For example, someone had to TRY to get this brownie on the window. Someone had to take it out of their bag, out of its wrapper, then purposefully smear it on the window in such a way that it sticks.

I take it personally also because this happened to be next to my favorite seat on the bus (along that single-seat row, on the left, in the back). Maybe tomorrow I’ll find a plate of eggs or something.

Sure that’s a brownie? Send us your tales of suspicious items found on the bus, or any other worthy tales.

Photo by Flickr user Mitsooko

The photo above was taken by the author and pertains to the incident mentioned in this post. It arrived at MDHQ a tad late. Apologies.

Muni Diaries on I Live Here: SF

eugenia bus stop iliveheresf

And by “Muni Diaries” I mean me, your humble Muni Diaries editor, gussied up for a photoshoot on the awesome blog, I Live Here: SF. The talented photographer Julie MichelleĀ started this project to photograph and document the stories of the people in San Francisco. And thanks to SFMTA, we had access to an empty bus downtown before its run started. For once I got to enact some shenanigans on the bus like running around and sit in the driver’s seat!

My feature is here and be sure to check out Julie Michelle’s other profiles, including Kathleen, proud TL bartender, and Brittney of CBS5’s Eye on Blogs.

And thanks to Julie Michelle for including me and creating this project that shows off our city through the eyes of many fascinating, spirited people.

How to Catch a Muni Bus

The wires came off

From Muni rider Axel Feldheim:

I reported this incident my own blog on Monday, April 20, 2009:

I was riding the 22 Fillmore this afternoon, & at 16th & Bryant the driver shut the door on a woman running for the bus. She yelled & pounded on the bus to no avail. Then while the bus was waiting at the stop light, she pulled it off of its wire. I’ve never seen someone do this before. She caught the bus.

Share your Muni riding tips (practice at your own risk, though) and your Muni tales with us.

Photo by Flickr user Juicyrai

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