Muni Diaries Live: Full Lineup Announced!

muni-diaries-live-elbo-room-2014

Twice a year, we bring Muni Diaries to life at the Elbo Room. There, you can hear true, hilarious tales from everyday riders like yourself. For our upcoming show on April 15, we’re bringing back our popular Muni Haiku Battle: a 5-7-5 syllabic showdown featuring our reigning champion, Baruch Porras-Hernandez. Watch him defend his crown (or rather, glorious headband) with these other stellar storytellers. Tickets are on sale now, so grab a ticket today and put us in your calendar of fun.

Our full lineup:
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Woman tasers creeper on Muni

muni reflection torbakhopper

Rider Katie Martin witnessed this jaw-dropping incident on Muni the other day. She took to Facebook with her story:

SOME WOMAN JUST TASERED THIS SACK OF HUMAN GARBAGE WHO WAS SEXUALLY HARASSING HER ON THE BUS AND I AM ROLLING!!! I literally laughed/cackled aloud. I’m worried for my soul. #thisisthebestday #myhero #notjusthello #pussygrabsback

 

Cold as ice, she just got up at her stop and stepped over his prone, twitching body and bounced. Several of us looked at each other like, “I dunno, should we help him?” And then collectively decided, “Nah” and returned to our phones.

Wow. Just…wow. A little internet research reveals that it is actually mostly legal to carry tasers in California. But if you don’t have one handy, a burrito makes a perfect weapon or comeback.

Saw something on Muni you think the world should know? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox, muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com, is always open!

Photo by @Torbakhopper

When wine rolls out from under your Muni seat…

colleenhagerty nyc subway wine

What would you do if a full bottle of wine rolled out from under your seat on the bus? This heartwarming scene is from the New York City Subway, as posted by reporter Colleen Hagerty, but I feel pretty confident that San Franciscans would start a party, too. After all, we’re not above pre-gaming on the bus (like with this fine box of Franzia).

A full bottle of wine just rolled out from under a subway seat and now these 2 strangers popped it open & are drinking it. This is peak NYC

Hat tip Katie M.

Got other party tips for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. You can also email us at muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com — our inbox is always open!

1950’s Muni baseball team is nothing short of amazing

Muni baseball team

Did you know that in the 1950’s, Muni had its own baseball team? The uniforms alone are amazing. We found this vintage gem via the SFMTA Photo Archive (which you should definitely follow). Check out their Muni baseball caps and jackets!

Speaking of team-building activities, Rick Prelinger of the Prelinger Library once featured the “Muni Drum & Bugle Corps” at Lost Landscapes of San Francisco. I’m still on the hunt for anyone who knows more about this marching band of yore.

Castro senior takes Muni to poetic heights

castro

Poetry is not easy, but Muni provides enough angst and fodder that one man at the Castro Senior Center wrote a poem all about our favorite love-hate mode of transportation. “Why can’t they be on time; If they were I wouldn’t have to whine.” Ain’t that the truth.

Straight from the Muni Diaries submission box to you, by rider Tom Barton.

Here’s a poem that I wrote for the Castro Senior Center where I go.

 

10 Muni Buses all in a Row
By Tom Barton

 

10 Muni buses all in a row
everyone’s wondering why it’s so slow
The driver wonders why all the fuss
of course it’s because there has been no bus

 

Now there is an app for the next bus to come
Yea, but how can I trust it so I don’t have to run
It tells you what to expect
But sometimes it’s a guess

 

Muni Metro ever so slow
when it will come nobody knows

Muni metro screwed up again
When will it ever end
Another breakdown, another delay
Maybe I should find another way

 

Muni Metro comes in a bunch
There’s been a breakdown I have a hunch

 

When I’m in a hurry I have to wait
Why are they many times so late
So Why can’t they be on time
If they were I wouldn’t have to whine

 

The Muni’s not perfect we know that’s true
So why are we always turning blue
If only we knew what to expect
We wouldn’t always get so upset.

 

A fare increase, 25 (cents), what the heck
Another quarter in your pocket, please check

 

With Muni we can always hope for the best
And with hopes that it won’t be another mess

Poetry seems to stem from transit riders, even resulting in a haiku battle between LA Metro and our own BART. Next time a rhyming urge strikes you, tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com is always open!

Completely adorable animal menagerie on Muni

muni parrot puppy by peepholier

Love it when the whole family rides the bus. Tiny dog looks a little scared but the parrots are giving zero fucks. Thanks @peepholier on Instagram for this pick-me-upper.

We have more cute animal photos on Muni to help you get over hump day.

Got other important news for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com is always open!

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