Reasons to keep on keepin’ on with Muni

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The talk of the town this week was all about that sleek new alternative to Muni as your chariot of choice (and affordability). What better way to show which transit system is clearly superior than our weekly celebration of shit that happens, you guessed it, #onlyonMuni?

  • 7am on the bus heading to work & dude next to me just killed a 40. #MuniDiaries
  • The scene in Breakfast Club where Ally Sheedy shakes her dandruff onto the table? Yeah, just watched someone do that. #SFMuni
  • God damnit. I’m sitting next to the guy who always hand drums on #sfmuni
  • OH on #SFMuni: “He’s super hot, even though he has bad, ‘done in prison’ #tattoos.” #SanFrancisco #Lockup
  • This guy has on waaaay more bronzer than is necessary for SF. Dude, you’ve got stripper tan. #munidiaries

This week’s Things on Muni is brought to you by proud fellow Muni riders @Just_a_SF_girl, @ImekaSF, @SANEofTheFix, @Horsehead102, and @pinkhandgrenade. Do yourself a solid and follow Muni Diaries on Twitter today.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Leap bus needs a tow on Day 2: Is there an app for that?

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leap_tow

Update: A quick phone call to Courtesy Tow, who performed the removal seen above, confirms that the bus did, indeed, break down. It’s hard out there for a pimp bus.

Original post (March 19, 12:02 p.m.): Well, this is embarrassing.

While any number of words can be used to describe this unfortunate situation, such as “irony” or “schadenfreude,” it’s a little weird that this Leap bus broke, right? Did the people on it have to use Muni? Muni certainly doesn’t refund your cashola if the bus breaks (LOL!), but would the premium bus refund that premium fare? Or does it just roll out a red carpet as you exit the spotless vehicle? That doggie-looking logo is pretty cute, though, we reward points for that.

Previously (as in, yesterday): New private bus wants you to avoid the crowded 30-Stockton, Blue Bottle coffee optional

Photo by Yarbs, on Spear near Howard

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

New private bus wants you to avoid the crowded 30-Stockton, Blue Bottle coffee optional

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leap bus

Taking Muni used to be an equalizing experience in San Francisco, but new ride-share apps are making public transit optional for people who’d rather not stand with the masses. A new pay-per-ride service is launching in the city today, with Blue Bottle iced coffee and hipster-appropriate wood paneling as the backdrop for morning selfies. For $6 a ride, Leap buses will take commuters from the Marina to the Financial District during peak hours. The company bills itself as the “Virgin America of buses.”

The area served by Leap’s bus line has “a high concentration of people who work downtown and a high concentration smartphone users. We’re particularly interested in serving areas where it’s tough to get a seat on public transit, and surge pricing is too high for daily use,” says Kyle Kirchhoff, founder and CEO of Leap.

The launch is not Leap’s first go-around in San Francisco. The company is launching the same proposed service today, more than a year after a scathing editorial in 2013 that called Leap a “selfish disruptor.” San Francisco also has seen other private bus apps like Loup or Chariot, which has four lines and offers a $93 monthly pass.

To be fair, private jitneys like Leap, Loup, or Chariot have sometimes been the basis of our current public transit system. SFist put it best: “While this all may seem ugly and capitalist in an era when Muni needs all the help and financial support it can get, it should be noted that many of Muni’s routes were, at one time (pre-1912), run by private entrepreneurs and were only later absorbed under a single system.” So this may not be all bad news in the long run, right?

With the proliferation of these private buses, life on Muni could start to look really different, and that scares me. When we started Muni Diaries seven years ago, public transportation felt like the great equalizer. We all had to get from point A to point B, and Muni was the only viable way for most people. Taxis were unreliable, parking was inconvenient and expensive, and bicycling wasn’t always an option. As a daily commuter, I saw a cross section of San Francisco whenever I got on the bus, and I loved it. Interactions on Muni helped us learn about one another and added layers to our experience of living here.

Sure, you might complain about WTF behaviors on Muni (hello, dude gulping Franzia), but you also see moments that restore your faith in humanity. Who wouldn’t want an impromptu Happy Birthday serenade on the bus?

There were always people in San Francisco who never rode the bus because they can afford to take cabs or drive to work and pay for parking every day. But that used to be an option only for the very rich. Now there are a lot of alternatives for people who make enough money to forgo public transit altogether. With life in San Francisco looking more and more segmented, who will be left to advocate for public transportation?

Our transit problems don’t come with a simple tech solution, but I’ve seen some creative attempts like the BART Twitter forum, the SFMTA Hackathon, and of course, this year’s TransportationCamp (maybe it should be a requirement for VC’s and business school grads?).

There’s no denying that it sucks when the bus is crowded and uncomfortable. It’s highly unrealistic to say that you should ride Muni just so you can learn about humanity. There’s a market for better public transit, but does the solution have to be a smart phone app for a private bus with bar stools and Blue Bottle coffee? I should hope not.

Category: News

The Onion: Anthropologists Classify 43 New Species Of Weirdo Within Subway Ecosystem

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The Onion drew a great deal of “ha ha ha ha…awwwwww oh…man” from all San Franciscans with Man with Serious Mental Illness Committed to Bus, and it’s stealing y’alls’ material once again with a new, very real-sounding anthropological classification of “weirdos within subway ecosystem.” To whit:

  • Exit Through the Weirdos—trademark Muni Diaries Live alum and comedian Dhaya Lakshminarayanan—the most perfect OH/not-OH on Muni to date
  • Muni Metro bondage for the busy (time-strapped, even) commuter
  • “Pizzaspreading” because I still just cannot with this guy, so I bring it up every chance I get
  • …and our favorite Muni WTFs of 2014—all the stuff that made us smile, gag, laugh, and cry because San Fran-fucking-cisco

 

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

The people who ride Muni with you

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The people riding the bus are like 99 percent of our inspiration for doing this silly little website. This week’s nominees are …

  • As heard on #SFMuni “IM A NYMPHO, DONT GET ME WRONG HEH HEH BUUUUUT…”
  • buttcracks and budweisers on the 22 outbound. Classic for so early!
  • Why did you get on the 22 bus with an unpackaged sheet cake? Are you trying to turn the ride into a Disney caper?
  • When the person obnoxiously playing music from their phone on #sfmuni IS SOMEONE YOU KNOW OMG SO EMBARRASSING
  • Man in back of 27 just baa’d like a sheep. No apparent reason.

This week’s Things on Muni is brought to you by fellow Muni riders @elphant_, @TheresaGarnero, @mamcart, @cool_becca_, and @thegreatzone. Follow Muni Diaries on Twitter and contribute to next week’s roundup.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Mark your calendars: Muni Diaries Live is back on April 18!

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Mark your calendars: Muni Diaries Live is back on Saturday, April 18, for an evening of laughter and drinks to celebrate everything that can happen on your commute. For our spring show, we’re bringing together riders, bus drivers, and even a band who sings about whiskey and transit, our two favorite topics ever. We’re also bringing in a new Muni haiku challenger for a new show-down!

Check out the full lineup, and grab your tickets soon!

Muni Diaries Live
Advanced tickets are sold out, but we’ve saved some spots for a few door tickets. Get there early!
Saturday, April 18, Door: 6 p.m. Show: 7 p.m.
Elbo Room
647 Valencia Street
San Francisco, CA 94110
Take Muni there: J-Church, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, or BART: 16th or 24th St stations

Our stellar storytellers:
Yayne Abeba is a native San Franciscan. As a child, you could find her dancing and singing her way around San Francisco with the San Francisco Children’s Opera. In 1995, she began studying with Jean Shelton at the Jean Shelton actor’s lab. She was bitten by the comedy bug in 1999 at Tony Spark’s Luggage Store. “…It’s like I have no control over it…whether it’s an open mike, a showcase, or a soap box, I just want to be a part of it.”

Doug Meriwether has been a transit operator for the SFMTA for 16 years and has withstood the test of time: He still has his “day” job by working nights on the Mission Street buses! Step up and step in to follow Doug and find your Zen in a trolley. His guidebook (or rule book) covers everything from how to pay at the fare box to where to stand while waiting for the bus. Plus, he adds some philosophy on how to maintain dignity and peace when the going gets tough.

Kate Willett is a San Francisco-based comedian and actress. She’s appeared in SF Sketchfest, the San Francisco Comedy Competition, and at clubs, theaters, and dive bars all over. San Francisco Magazine says she’s a comedian you should know about, and SF Weeklysays she’s one of the “strongest female figures in Bay Area Comedy.” As an actress, she has performed throughout the U.S. with groups such as Shakespeare and Company, Word for Word, Woman’s Will, and the Samuel Beckett Theater in Dublin, Ireland. She’s also the co-producer of the weekly show The Mission Position in Lost Weekend Video’s popular CineCave and Live at Deluxe at Club Deluxe.

Tarin Towers has been riding Muni since 1995, when she used to ride the 22 to her first job working the graveyard shift at the Denny’s in Japantown. She has performed her work nationwide, including on tour with Sister Spit. Her book is called, Sorry, We’re Close. She’s a big fan of manners and also a realist. Please don’t block the aisle with your enthusiasm.

Jesse James is the reigning champion of the Muni Haiku Battle. When not administering tours of the Golden Gate Bridge to Australian tourists, Jesse spends way too much money on art school and a slightly smaller amount on comic books. He didn’t drink until he was 21 and has been trying to make up for lost time ever since. Jesse was the winner of the TOHS Class of 2000’s Most Extraordinarily Unique Male Senior Award.

Mesquite and Mustard is a three-piece musical act from San Francisco. Simply put, they play songs about whiskey, trains, biscuits, and mamas.

Ronn Vigh‘s brash attitude and acerbic wit have earned him a comparison to a young Joan Rivers by SF Weekly. It’s a fitting comparison, since he later became a writer for E! Television’s Fashion Police, which was co-hosted by Rivers. For 13 years, Ronn has been a proud San Francisco resident and not-so-proud Muni rider. It just further reminds him that his car was repossessed when he first moved here. On the bright side, he’s also a yoga teacher and has found that regularly riding Muni is an excellent way to put all the teachings of compassion and letting go into practice. It’s also great for working on your core strength when there’s no dirty hand strap in reach as you’re being tossed around a careening L train at rush hour.

Photo by Right Angle Images

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