Category: WTF: Weirdness on Muni

The 49 From Hell

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Having put in a good 6-mile walk the day before, I decided I would take it easy today. Ha! What should have been a leisurely jaunt ended up being a 5-mile forced march.

I decided I would take a trip down memory lane and go down to Fisherman’s Wharf and the place where, in 1971, I worked as a teenager — Cost Plus Imports.

After checking the bus schedule, I decided to take the 22 to Mission and 16th and then catch a 49-Van Ness. The 49 runs every 10 minutes, so the wait would be short.

I got to 16th and Mission without incident.

I waited as 10 minutes went by and no 49 bus. Then 15 minutes, then 20. By now, an obviously impatient crowd was gathering and constantly looking down the street for the 49. One woman tried hailing a cab with no results and then got back up on the curb and started her wait again.

Elvis, seen above, seemed to be taunting me as I impatiently waited for the 49 to arrive.

While waiting I had the pleasure of being harangued by some crazy woman who accused me of being a cop and there was a constant parade of the unwashed masses going by the bus stop. I had never had the pleasure of waiting for a half hour at a Mission and 16th bus stop before. What fun!

Finally, the 49 came and it was already packed. We crammed our way into the smelly, stifling sardine can of humanity and all clung on for dear life as the bus lurched back into traffic. I was flanked by a woman holding her nose, a guy on a scooter in the handicapped slot, and some poor slob who was trying to manage a large heavy box on his shoulders while trying to hold on.

Meanwhile, some lunatic was hurling disparaging remarks punctuated with expletives at the bus driver while a woman next to him gave him crap about it. With each stop it got worse as more and more people jammed themselves onto the bus. By now it was like a sweat bath. Yummy.

Finally, the driver stopped taking more passengers (there was another 49 bus just a block behind us). At Geary Street half the bus emptied out and I got to sit down for the remaining four blocks of the ride. I got off at California with a great sigh of relief and relished the cool breeze. What a ride. Thank god I don’t have to endure this on regular basis like many of these hapless souls. Jeezus…

Excerpted from Epic Road Trips.

Category: diaries, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , ,

Blackberry Breaks

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(Old) Blackberry
Photo by Flickr user rwkvisual

Editor’s Note: Rider Eric sent in this diary on the 6-Parnassus, where he couldn’t help but notice a heart wrenching exchange on the Blackberry phone next to him.

It’s 6:30pm and I’m getting on the 6 bus to go home. Usually, on my way to work, I catch the underground, but coming home, unless I’m getting produce at the market, I like to get door to fucking door.

I nab my favorite seat-towards the back on the right just behind the back doors. I forgo my iPod for a change, look in my bag for a magazine I know I don’t have, check my watch, and slide down into the glossy brown plastic seat.

I look out the window as we pass Powell.  There’s the standard crowd with pocket cameras and fanny packs circling around a group of street performers corralling the tourists like a herd.  I think back to these two boys I once saw dancing for money on the F train in Brooklyn.  One was moving to the beat of the other’s hands. As we approached the stop at Smith and 9th, they came around with a hat and people pulled out change without even looking up from the newspaper. When the doors opened, they ran to the next car.  I watched them through the connecting car windows as the train went underground, the other one now dancing. I look back at the performers at Powell and shrug off the thought that I live in a town that wants to be a city.

I haven’t noticed it until now, but the guy next to me is fiercely thumbing away on his Blackberry. He’s young, unshaved, in ruffled jeans. I never understand why anyone would want a Blackberry if they weren’t a business man.  It’s sort of like a 16 year old choosing to drive a Ford Taurus.

Did I mention how big and bright the fucking screen is on a Blackberry?  So I can’t help but look over at what he’s typing, it’s practically in my face—“You look at things all wrong…that’s not what I meant at all”. He fires it off, drops the phone between his legs and stares ahead, wistfully.

30 seconds later, a buzzing tone comes from his lap. I try to make out what the message says, but he’s cradling the phone towards the window—unaware of me, but still hiding it.  He reads it, lets out a sigh: this isn’t good.
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Muni Recipes: Picnic Lunch a la 23

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Muni Picnic

Ingredients:

1 bag potato chips
1 jar Tostitos® brand Salsa Con Queso™ dip
1 tin sardines in oil
1 bag Skittles®, Fun Size™

Preparation:

Bring ingredients aboard any mid-Saturday 23-Monterey bus. For best results, board through back door without paying fare; take advantage of extra blind spots in new hybrid bus design to avoid scrutiny of driver. Take desirable seat in the front of the upper section, with good views, easy access to door. Be sure to take up both seats, even if you’re preparing your picnic lunch for just yourself.

Struggle to open Salsa Con Queso™ dip. Fail, owing to tight seal on lid. Smash bottom of jar on convenient grab rail until contents until it shears off, leasing cheese dip accessible.

Open bag of potato chips. Crumble a generous handful onto seat, sprinkling Salsa Con Queso™ to taste. Scoop out remaining Salsa Con Queso™ with remaining chips, alternating bites with sardines.

Finish presentation with Skittles®; leave bag on crumbled chip/dip covered seat, arranging so as to emphasize color and texture contrasts.

When finished, save preparation time on leftovers by drizzling remaining oil from sardine tin on floor; spread into patterns with bottom of shoe.

Serves one. Or two, if dainty.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni
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