Ninja salesman delights Muni passengers

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Photo by Paul Sullivan

Muni rider Sherlock sent us the following story. And with it, the clock on “random things seen in San Francisco/on Muni” has been reset.

“The other day, I was riding the 28 to the Presidio Parkway when it stopped at the intersection with Marina Bvld [sic] for a red light. During our brief wait before we got on the freeway, a man dressed up as a ninja scrambled onto Presidio Pkwy and started showing brochures for a car wash. Many people opened the bus windows to grab some of them. I just sat there taking in the most random thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

Would you take a brochure from a ninja? I’d be a little scared of what I’d unknowingly have to give up, to be honest. Sneaky ninja!

Of Muni, Looking, and (literal) beards

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Photo by davitydave

[Insert snappy commentary about HBO’s Looking here]

No, someone do it, ’cause I’ve got nothing. Thankfully, in perhaps its most San Francisco-est post possible*, BuzzFeed ranked the beards on this HBO show about gay life in the city, and we hear some of those handsome beards are riding Muni. It is obviously my duty as your editor to tune in and spend an exorbitant amount of time on this topic.

#12 features some hot Muni Metro action, guest starring Muni Diaries Live alum and BuzzFeed editor Isaac Fitzgerald. We have enjoyed this beard for years.

#2 is Richie, whose beard is a little patchy for my taste, but check out that strangely pristine transit vehicle. Mee-ow. Oh, A+ on the Giants hat, Richie.

* Despite its criminal use of “the” with Muni.

5 Flavors of Muni

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Photo by torbakhopper

Please recognize that this is merely a snapshot, a moment in time. Namely, it’s the five best Muni flavors this week. There are infinite flavors, of course. We see and taste them every day. There will be subsequent reports of additional flavors as time goes on.

For now, enjoy these:

  • man on the 19 Polk has a chihuahua with a pacifier in its mouth. I am simultaneously annoyed and delighted #Muni
  • The theme of today’s bus ride is ” having a psychotic episode while picking bugs from my head” . #SFMuni
  • Guy sitting next to me on #muni has a smartphone, earbuds, but no shoes.
  • If you know how to deactivate the magnet that attracts drunk homeless dudes to me on the 49, I’d love to hear #Muni
  • Drunk dude on the N rapping about how he isn’t drunk. #sfmuni #neveradullmoment

These five things on Muni were brought you to my fellow riders @lfagundes77, @yayneabeba, @barry_buck, @rachelshpionka, and @shaughnessy_k8.

Muni is happy to see you, like, all the time

dick_map

I’ve always wondered. Now Muni rider Lardy Revenger has cracked the case.

“After years of staring at this stupid Muni map, I finally figured out what it looks like–a dick. It’s so obvious, I’m ashamed of not seeing it. But now that I have, that’s all I’ll ever see.”

I honestly hope you are able to unsee.

Does this somehow explain all the evening outbound delays on the N-Judah?

Via Twitter.

Four Things You Probably Shouldn’t Do on Muni

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Photo via Jeremy

There are lots of things you shouldn’t do on Muni, but here are this week’s four offenders:

1. Talk to Siri.
Woman trying to speak into her phone: “San Francisco, California. No. San Fraaaanciscoooo. Cah-lee-for-neeea.” And then, “Aladdin Bail Bonds. No. NO! Ah-lah-ddin. Baaay-oh. Bonds.”

2. Transport fragile stuff.
@tarintowers: Optimism: Buying a brand-new full-length mirror & transporting it on the 43. #sfmuni

3. Makeout on the phone.
@sdqali: SFMTA needs to enforce a rule on how long an over-the-phone kiss can last while riding the Muni.

4. Makeout in person.
@lumenatrix: It’s too damn early to be forced to watch people making out on the bus

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