Those sexy springtime tales from Muni Diaries Live

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room crowd

Can riding the bus bring together 200 people to cheer whenever they hear a Muni line called out? The answer is “100 times yes,” as we experienced IRL at the Elbo Room last Saturday at Muni Diaries Live. For this show, we brought some seriously talented storytellers who, like you, shares their tales of what it’s like to live in San Francisco, one Muni ride at a time.

We kicked off the show with comedian and writer Irene Tu, who was a Muni celebrity last year and turned her friends into last-minute paparazzo to chase that fame.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room irene tu

J. W. Friedman, the host of I Don’t Even Own a Television, reviews bad books on his podcast. For Muni Diaries Live, he brought his own Muni story of an unlikely, potty-mouthed hero on the bus.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room j w friedman

Dixie De La Tour is the founder of Bawdy Storytelling, true stories of sexual adventure. And of course, one of those adventures took place on Muni’s 5-Fulton.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room dixie de la tour

We brought back Baruch Porras-Hernandez, our Muni Haiku champion, to share his own Muni story.Because, as we learned that night, when you cajole your suspicious out-of-town friend into Muni, all the while guaranteeing safety and a blissfully uneventful ride — you may just be eating those words for lunch.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room baruch porras hernandez

San Francisco Chronicle reporter Vivian Ho has written thousands of stories about our fair city. But the one that everyone remembers, of course, is the saucy one that happened on BART.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room vivian ho

Writer Na’amen Tilahun recalls one eventful evening in the Castro, and the potential dangers of solo inebriated Muni Metro rides.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room naamen tilahun

The Muni Haiku Battle took a brief hiatus, but it’s back in full force! This battle pit current champ Baruch against Irene, whose mantel is lined with golden dildos she’s won from Tourettes Without Regrets in years past. So who took home the Muni Haiku title this year?

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room irene baruch haiku

After some heated 5-7-5 exchanges (some involving Easter eggs in body cavities), Baruch was named victorious, taking/wearing home the newest trophy!

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room baruch irene haiku results

We’re pretty big on wearable trophies in recent years, which means obviously this trophy is a cape. Rather befitting of this poetic hero, we must say.

MDL muni diaries live 17 elbo room baruch haiku cape

Thank you to everyone who came out to the show and shared your stories with us. Muni Diaries is made of your stories, so we truly couldn’t do this without you! Our next show is on Nov. 4, but if you get lonely without us in the six months in between, perk up your ears to the Muni Diaries podcast on iTunes and Google Play.

Photos by Right Angle Images.

Getting to and from AT&T Park: SF Giants fans’ transit guide

giants nosh this

The San Francisco Giants are back for the 2017 season. For those bleeding orange and black, foam fingers in tow, squished into Muni and BART while daydreaming of their pregame pregaming, here’s everything you need to know about getting to and from the game:

Via the SFMTA:

Transit

The following Muni service is available to and from all home games:

E Embarcadero (service ends at 6 p.m.)
T Third
N Judah
Metro Ballpark Shuttles
10 Townsend
30 Stockton
45 Union/Stockton
47 Van Ness
Baseball fans may purchase round trip Muni transfer tickets at the east end of Embarcadero Station near the Muni station agent booth two-and-a-half hours prior to the start time of the game.

One-way Muni transfers can be purchased at the AT&T Park ticket windows located at 2nd and King streets and Willie Mays Plaza. Transfers will be sold starting two hours before the game until the game begins, and again from the beginning of the 7th inning until 30 minutes after the game.

Additional Muni Metro “baseball shuttles” will supplement existing N Judah and T Third service to the ballpark.

The additional service begins two hours prior to the game and continues until approximately 20 minutes after the start of the game.

SFMTA parking control officers (PCOs) will help fans get to and from the game. Prior to each game, PCOs are deployed to key locations around the ballpark to facilitate pedestrian safety, efficient movement of transit vehicles and other traffic.

More details about Muni service to AT&T Park, including connections from other Bay Area transit systems, can be found at the SFMTA website. Regional transit information for BART, Caltrain and the ferries as well as traffic is available on the 511 website.

Photo by our favorite chocolatier, @noshthis.

How I dress on Mondays

man wearing blanket on muni by kevinkelleher

How many times do you wish you could just do this at work? Like, “don’t look at me, I haven’t had coffee,” and then just pull out your blanket from under your desk and make everything go away. Thanks to @kevinkelleherphotography on Instagram for submitting this photo.

Got other important news for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com is always open!

Muni Diaries Live is back this Saturday, April 15 at the Elbo Room! All the best stories live on stage, and we are bringing back the haiku battle! Tickets on sale.

SFPD arrests suspect in new ‘Muni humper’ case

police n judah muni humper case jerold chinn

Less than 24 hours after we reported the case of a man who was sexually assaulting women on Muni by rubbing himself against them, the police made an arrest in the case. There were at least four victims in the case, and one of them had commented with her own horrifying account in our original post yesterday.

The San Francisco Examiner reported yesterday that “additional police officers were directed to ride the N-Judah between downtown stations and the avenues.”

SFBay’s Jerold Chinn saw police officers riding on the N yesterday afternoon and tweeted the photo above.

According to SFPD spokesperson Grace Gatpandan, an office from the Taraval Station met with one of the victims yesterday and disseminated the photo of the suspect to Muni Division officers.

More from the SFPD:

Richmond Station officers were able to identify the suspect. Park Station officers located the suspect at Carl and Stanyan Streets and took him into custody without incident. The suspect, a 45 year old white male, is being charged with multiple misdemeanors including sexual battery, sexual battery on public transportation,‎ continuing offense of public nuisance and one felony count of false imprisonment.

The police has not released the name and photo of the suspect, and asks that anyone with more information about the case call the SFPD Anonymous Tip Line at 415-575-4444 or text a tip to TIP411 with SFPD at the beginning of the message.

It’s hard for Muni to say sorry

muni train sorry by kate conger

…but it just wants you to know. Better late than never?

@kateconger snapped this simple atonement from Muni the other day. But you may be surprised (like, really surprised) to know this isn’t the first time the Metro surfaced with an unexpected apology — like this one from Muni rider Patrick:

sorry

Or this blurry polite contrition, via Muni rider Alice:

Though Muni, by our count, has been apologetic for everything at least three times, I think Muni riders write much better heartfelt apologies. Here’s one: “Sorry about the dog shit thing this morning” (“To everybody that was riding the 2 (or was it the 3?) bus inbound to the Financial District on Thursday, July 19 (around 8:30 a.m.). I sincerely apologize for potentially getting dog shit on you. It wasn’t my intention.”

Or how about “Dad: Sorry my son puked on you on Muni” (“Fellow J riders: I’m so sorry. My 4-year old son projectile vomited on some of you at about 8:30 on February 3.”).

What other confessions did you hear or see on Muni today? We’re all ears.

Muni Diaries Live is back on April 15 at the Elbo Room! All the best stories live on stage, and we are bringing back the haiku battle! Tickets on sale now.

BART’s new ad about Islamophobia

bart islamphobia ad kevmo

Here’s a BART ad that we can all get behind. From Uptown Almanac’s @kevinmonty, the poster encourages bystanders to engage in conversation with the person who is the target of Islamophobic harassment. A simple “Hi, how are you?” or engaging in a random topic of conversation could deter further terrible behavior.

Have you tried similar tactics to contain a potentially aggressive situation? Or maybe you went straight to the Taser method? How would you de-escalate a situation?

Hat tip to Amy over at the super-plugged-in, very funny Capp Street Crap for pointing this our way.

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