Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Playboys and Boys Playing …

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playboy on the subway

This delightful tale is by Amy

Ok, so apparently it’s Gross on BART week, although I don’t remember seeing a press release. (Sorry, I didn’t snap any pictures).

On the way home yesterday, this guy with a beard and baseball cap was reading Playboy on BART. A group of middle-aged women, noticing this, got up quickly and scattered like he was contagious or something. One of them said, quite loudly, “I GUESS HE’S READING IT FOR THE ARTICLES.”

Bearded guy, clearly only slightly embarrassed, folded the magazine cover over and continued to look at it.

But what I saw this morning will stick with me for a month, at least.

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Category: BART, Funny: Muni LOLs

Creative punishment for fare-jumping?

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MUSTI don’t know about you, but I can appreciate a certain level of honesty with some things, including breaking the law. Especially if you get caught. (“Ah. Yes, officer, I know how fast I was going. Very fast, indeed”.)  By the same token, I also appreciate subtle, off-script ways of punishing people for doing so.

Fare jumpers often seem more nonchalant than anything else. They keep their heads down as they wrench those back doors open by their fingernails, and generally don’t say much or cause a ruckus while they’re trying not to get squished in the doorway.

This gal on a 10-Townsend one afternoon put them all to shame.

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Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

Introducing Muni Mind Reader

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thereAllow us to introduce Tiffany Maleshefski, the Amazing Muni Mind Reader! This is the first in our new series where Tiffany will channel the thoughts of a Muni rider directly onto our pages. Ever wonder what your fellow passengers are thinking as we stare at one another during yet another bumpy Muni ride? Tiffany’s got you covered. In today’s installment, Tiffany’s onto that guy who takes up two seats on the bus.

Hey lady,

What do you want from me? I’m a guy. Yeah, a big honkin’ guy, and that’s why I just gotta sit here next to you with my legs spread wide apart because I have this equally big honkin’ mass between my legs. I can see you’re aggravated that my right thigh is on my seat and yours, but what can I do? Get a smaller package? You’ll have to ask god about that one. Trust me, it bothers me too, but at the end of the day, there’s not much I can do about it.

You on the other hand, well, maybe you could go to the gym a little more, or drink one less latte in the morning. If you toned up, maybe you could only take up 3/4 or even 1/2 your seat, allowing me and my boys some breathing room. It can’t possibly bother you that much can it? Me, sitting here at 8:30 in the morning, my leg touching yours. It’s kind of nice, isn’t it? Neighborly almost. I mean, I already kind of stopped noticing I was taking up two seats in the first place. Surely, you’ve forgotten too.

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Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

A Brief Exchange on BART

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The following is by Devin

16th and Mission BART, about 5 p.m. on the second-hottest afternoon in recent memory. Agitated Man standing on landing of the east-entrance stairway eating a hamburger out of a McDonald’s bag and intermittently barking Spanish into a cellphone.

Commuter Woman in Skirt passes Agitated Latino Man. Moments later, Agitated Man is throwing hamburger buns at Commuter Woman in Skirt, screaming largely unintelligible remark ending (mundanely) in “comida.” Commuter Woman in Skirt looks annoyed & slightly threatened, but not overly upset (probably because he missed), proceeds down into station.

Moments later, McDonald’s food mostly consumed, Agitated Man gradually starts heading up stairs, passes Irritable Man with Dog. Agitated Latino Man stops to feed rest of hamburger to Dog. Dog, amenable, stops, eats hamburger. Irritable Man screams at Agitated Man (and/or Dog; wording was ambiguous), waves leash. Agitated Man proceeds back up stairs at accelerated pace, groping for cellphone.

Dog, detecting no further hamburger availability, follows Irritable Man into station. Curtain descends.

Photo by Flickr user canadianlookin.

Write us your own Muni or BART vignette —all characters welcome.

Category: BART, Funny: Muni LOLs
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