Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Arguments between the old San Franciscans…

Leave a comment

From the Muni Diaries submissions inbox:

Friday, July 25, 2008

A scene on the bus today after work–

Old man: “People have no right to be cruel to the bus driver. The bus drivers work very hard. You need to show some respect to them.”
Old lady: “Uh huh, okay, okay…” (not really listening)
Old man: “That’s right, people shouldn’t flag down the bus driver and expect for him or her to wait for them; show some respect. Some people are so rude.”
Old lady: “Okay…” (shakes her head “no” and waves the guy down to make him stop talking)
Old man: “Oh yeah? Well same to you! It’s people like you who are not natives to San Francisco that make the city bad!”
Old lady: “Oh, YEAH? Well, I’VE LIVED IN SAN FRANCISCO FOR 50 YEARS NOW, I am not an immigrant!”
Old man: “Well I’ve lived here for 75 years, so you shut your trap. All these immigrants need to just go home.”

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

You people and your newspapers and your sense of entitlement…

9 comments

the 33 ride home
Photo by Flickr user messtiza

I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one, especially since I’m also the person who hates disabled people with casts, as well as small, innocent children on field trips.

It’s really kind of funny. Twenty-somethin’ gal with her BlackBerry and her text messaging and her internets. Older gentleman with his morning newspaper. Odd-couple comedy in the making!

So this man gets on the bus and grabs a seat next to me in a disabled section crowded with fellow commuters. I check to make sure there aren’t other older or pregnant folks trying to nab a seat, then get back to my internets. The gent opens his newspaper (the San Francisco Examiner, which I used to write for) and extends one side of it and his arm far into my seat/space. I politely say, “Excuse me,” and, thinking the issue is over, am actually surprised when he, clearly affronted, wants to know what I was excusing-me for.

Hmm, OK. I note as politely and even-voicedly (though also kind of flustered and surprised) as I can that his newspaper is in my space, and that if he could just fold up a bit more, that would be great. As easy as it could be to tell him he needed to back the F up, I first incorrectly said (who knew I’d actually have to explain it) his paper was touching me. OK (calm vibes), I guess it’s not exactly touching me, but it’s hovering over my lap, and I’m personally folded up as much as I can be, you know? I happen to agree with the fine etiquette ladies at Muni Manners, who noted in a post about this very phenomenon that folding your newspaper to lessen your impact, but still get your news, is the safe and courteous thing to do for all. Read more

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: , ,

Ew de Muni: Fried chicken and formaldehyde

One comment

Jeez.
Photo by Flickr user adotjdotsmith

This olfactory delight by Mary Stream arrived in our inbox the other day:

Here’s a smell vignette from last night’s (July 14) 71L ride home:

At Fillmore and Haight, a senior Asian man gets on with two large containers of Popeye’s chicken. The chicken smell fills the bus causing one man in the back to yell “Hey, who’s serving chicken up front. Remember us back here.”

When the bus turns on Lincoln by UCSF Medical Center, an intern (name tag so indicated) got on and sat beside me. He smelled of formaldehyde.

What a great combination of smells (gag): Fried chicken and formaldehyde!

Got a story to tell? Funny, gross, gripe? Send it our way.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , , ,

Not the good kind of nudity

Leave a comment

386153449_acb28b3e6f_b.jpg
Photo submitted by author

In high school, we were broke. So we had to find cheap ways to entertain ourselves, and one of those ways was to take the 38 in from the Richmond and take the now-defunct 42 Downtown Loop to the old Tower Records and the Wharf.

One fateful day, my friend Bob and I were on the 42, sitting in the second-to-back row on the driver’s side. It was fairly crowded, but not uncomfortably so. We were minding our own business, talking about Man of La Mancha or whatever the hell it is we talked about in high school.

Eventually, we noticed some kind of commotion near the front of the bus, and a handful of people getting off. We tried to see what was going on, but there were too many people. Eventually, more people got off and we saw a totally naked middle-aged woman ambling around the front of the bus.

Read more

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Revenge of the Nerds

Leave a comment

Nerd
Photo by Flickr user bayat

I braved the crowds of tourists and shoppers in Union Square to take advantage of the July 4th holiday sales and scored a terrific deal on a new comforter. I live fairly close to downtown SF and try to walk everywhere I can within reason but catching the 45 Union back home seemed reasonable now that I was lugging this large, unwieldy bag around with me. I walked a few blocks to 3rd and Market to catch the bus, ensuring that I’d get on before the crowds destined for Chinatown boarded. I snagged the perfect seat in the last row of double seats before the final row along the back, with plenty of legroom for me to balance my bedding-bag on my feet in front of me.

Sure enough, the bus started to fill up at the very next stop. One of the passengers towered above the usual contingent of Asian women with produce bags, a tall white guy who lumbered towards the back, glassy-eyed, open-mouthed, his significant gut leading the way. My Muni-attuned spidey senses were tingling—something about this guy was a bit off. He carried himself with the awkward air of those who don’t have a good grasp on the rules of social interaction. (His sci-fi convention-style t-shirt blaring “NEXT STOP: MARS!” helped complete the impression.) As he surveyed the open seats I silently projected my intentions. Don’t you f*ing sit here, dude. Don’t even think about it. Swayed by my venomous mental force-field (or more likely by the expanse of open seats along the back row), he plunked himself down behind me. He immediately started questioning one of the people seated by the windows about an item he carried, further confirming my snap assessment that this guy did not observe the Rule of the Bus.

Read more

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Muni Mind Reader: The Tourist

Leave a comment

Tourists to the WharfWe know them, we loathe them, but really, where would we be without their daily, monthly, yearly fiscal contributions to the livelihood of our little burg? Let’s face it — San Francisco is a tourism magnet, so best to suck it up next time you get annoyed during your probably-already-annoying Muni ride. Here’s the oh-so-insightful Muni Mind Reader‘s travel log from her journey far into the inner neurological reaches of the Tourist.

Excuse me, driver? This is the 43-Masonic yes? The 43? That’s what it says on the front of the bus.

DRIVER: Yes. 43.

Driver? This is the 43-M-A-S-O-N…I-C.

DRIVER: Yes.

And this goes to the Inner Richmond? We need to get over to 16th and Balboa. Will this take us to 16th and Balboa?

DRIVER. Yes. Just get on the bus ma’am, we need to go.

Okay! Come on everyone, this is the bus!! How much is it? How much do we need to pay to get on the bus? Oh honey, it says right here we need $2. Do you have $2? We’ll need $8 total. Driver, can I get change for a $20?

Read more

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs
1 … 168 169 170 171 172 … 181