A misfired projectile in Tiffany’s airspace

1-california-clay-and-powell
Photo by christine.ricks

100 Muni StoriesJesse told a two-minute version of this story at Muni Diaries Live! two Fridays ago, and there was no question that he was the crowd favorite of the evening. People couldn’t get enough of Jesse so we asked him to write his story in full here for you.

I was heading home from work, a task that takes about 45 minutes and one transfer. In the afternoons, I prefer to take the 1-California, as it has consistently proven to be the gentler, cleaner, more Asian cousin of the consistently troubling 38-Geary. Little did I know that this was to be no ordinary ride home. This was a bus ride that, even years later, is still burned into the memory portions of my brain (those are somewhere in the upper middle, right?). When dealing with Muni, I suppose one should always expect the unexpected.

As I approached the bus shelter, I heard a loud, angry voice taking someone to task for being a “Lazy-Assed Cracker.” Soon it was revealed that the man attached to the voice was a tall fellow who would sporadically refer to himself in the third person. His name was Leroy. Leroy seemed to be pushing 60, though I suppose he could have been younger. One thing was for sure; Leroy was not new to the streets. He was crusty in a way that is almost special. It seemed that Leroy had maintained a long and devout abstinence to water, since Y2K was a genuine threat. Leroy’s hands were swollen, coated in years and layers of sedimentary funky junk and it dawned on me that Leroy’s claws have quite possibly touched many of the same public surfaces that mine have over the years (I resolved at once to stop biting my nails). His T-shirt advertised the 1984 Los Angeles Summer Olympics and was so timeworn that maintaining its structure must have been accomplished through ancient magic long since forgotten.

Read more

Love Seats on the Bus

Love Seat
Photo by Flickr user jovike

Rider Julie pointed us to a post on Copenhagenize.com. Starting this week, more than 100 buses in Copenhagen will have red love seats to encourage flirting. If you’re single and ready to mingle, sit in the love seats and see if magic happens on the bus.

“How about it, Muni?” Julie asks, “I can use some love on the 1AX,” she says.

You and me both, Julie! I absolutely adore the unabashed enthusiasm for flirting — from a transportation firm, of all places.

More from Copenhagenize.com:

The transport firm, Arriva, is following the increasing trend of companies branding themselves as singles-friendly.

Buses on routes 3A, 4A, 150S, 173E and 350S now feature seats that are red, placed next to each other, where according to Arriva flirtacious, sexy glances and cheeky pick-up lines from both sexes are allowed.

“We would like to get people to change their behaviour and flirt and smile more on the bus. Maybe some will find love. Others may just want to try taking the bus because there is a chance to flirt with a good-looking guy”, says Marianne Færch, from Arriva.

Several experts agree that the red seats could very well become the most sought-after on the buses. Single life is no longer a tabboo, it’s an accepted part of modern life.

If these seats were on my line, I think I’d get a kick out of either sitting in them or eavesdropping for some unfortunate pickup lines to unfold …

Muni Missed Connections #34*

MUNI SF tattoo
Photo by Flickr user 0x0000org

We were only on the bus together about 3 or 4 stops, I was sitting, you were standing a bit in front of me…but I could not take my eyes off of you. You’re super super super cute, and if you’re single at all, and into us menfolk, I would love to take you out for dinner or drinks or a show or something.

~ tattooed bus boy

Wait, the poster doesn’t even say which line this was? Still, cute. Nice touch with that oh-so-SF “into us menfolk” bit. Good luck!

* Okay, not really. More like 7 or 8. We’re not really keeping track.

‘If Muni were …’

Choose the face that best describes how you feel about Muni (pain scale by the super awesome Allie at Hyperbole and a Half). We know how rider Steven feels about it. He sent us the following Muni-etry:

If Muni were my brother, I would coldly turn my back and let him reap the fruits of his poor life decisions…

If Muni were a sunny day in SF, it would be a sunny day in the Sunset to say that it wouldn’t be sunny at all…

if Muni were pizza, it would be delivered in a Delfina box but instead of pizza inside it would be a box of hatred and disappointment…

Muni doesn’t trust Steve Poizner or anybody else at all…

Finally, I wanted to feel what it was like so I stole $2 from this guy on the street, then made him prove that I took it…and when he couldn’t right away, I wrote him a ticket and took $75 more bucks from him.

S.M. Williams
J – Inbound 7:23 a.m.
2010

Okay, okay, sometimes it’s actually 🙂, right? We take Muni stories that land anywhere on the reference chart.

1 154 155 156 157 158 181