What to do when someone asks you to sign a petition

No Soliciting
Photo by Thomas Hawk

Rider Jared bought some headphones to enjoy his music on Muni. Little did he know that right after his purchase, he would overhear one of the most excellent exchanges between one very cranky rider and someone who was trying to get him to sign a petition. I’m tempted to copy this technique the next time someone asks me to sign my name on yet another clipboard. Read on. – Eugenia

As someone who spends a good chunk of his day on Muni and Caltrain, I listen to a lot of music. As my iPod earphones have been slowly making their way to white headphone heaven, I decided to take the plunge and buy some quality buds. After much deliberation between sound-cancelling and the regular version, I bought Bose’s around-the-ear model on Monday evening at their store in the downtown Westfield. I decided against sound-cancelling because I’m afraid to be struck by a bus and die. But if “Lost” has taught me anything, it’s that I’ll see you all in another life, brotha. Anyway.

Just like a little kid at Hanukkah, I asked the store owner, “Do you mind if I open it now so I can listen to them on my ride home?” After a few cuts and snips, I was on my way downstairs to the Powell Station sporting my new headphones.

For some reason Predictably, I had to wait a while until a lettered car appeared to take me to the Castro station (I was jonseing for some boba). Once it arrived (after I was told it wasn’t coming for another seven minutes), I hopped on and stood against the doors on the opposite side so I’d be closest to my exit.

One stop in, I see a guy in his 30s or 40s walking through the car and talking to people. Huh, that’s weird, I thought.

As he makes his way over to our side of the car I notice he’s holding a paper. I’m thinking, oh, he’s one of THOSE a-holes.

I love people who try to help a good cause, but I hate solicitors as much as the MILF from “The 40-Year Old Virgin.” As he approached me, I politely said no thanks (a few times… he was persistent) and he moved on down the train.

Here’s where it gets fun. As he was moving down the bus, he kept asking folks and they kept saying “no thanks.” Until he reached this one dude sitting down reading a book. Let’s recount the situation:

Solicitor: Do you mind signing my petition to…
Muni Rider (screaming at the top of his lungs): NO. YOU CAN’T PETITION. NO PETITIONING. YOU CAN’T DO THAT. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED. STOP IT. YOU’RE A BAD PERSON. STOP DOING THIS. YOU CAN’T PETITION ON HERE. STOP IT. STOP. DON’T BOTHER ME. STOP IT!!!!!!!!
The Rest of the Bus: (Silence)

He finally quit right before we hit the Church station. As the solicitor passed him again on his way to the front of the bus, I was afraid the psycho was going to shank him. But luckily he kept his cool this time around.

And do you know what pisses me off most about all of this? That I didn’t buy the noise-cancelling headphones.

Muni Newbie Orientation

What do Muni newbie riders need to know?

Because most people I know are seasoned transit riders, I tend to forget that Muni gets brand-new riders every day. Rider Melissa has just made the transition from BART to Muni, and told us:

Funny how different the commuter scene is. Lesson for today in Muni Riders vs. BART Riders: Muni Riders just don’t give a fuck! (Excuse my language…but it’s so true.) Doesn’t matter if you’re elderly, handicapped, young…Muni riders are all out for themselves. You just have to be aggressive and don’t take anything personally. Everyone is just trying to go where they need to go. [I’m] slowly learning and transitioning to a daily Muni rider….we’ll see how it goes.

Despite her skepticism, Melissa took a picture of her very first Muni pass to share with us, above.

I’m not sure I totally agree with Melissa’s assessment because I feel that on any Muni line, if you don’t know to step down, the rest of the bus will let you know. And if the back door doesn’t open for you, more than one rider will yell “Back Door” on your behalf. I’ve seen riders organize half the bus to move back for a wheelchair passenger to get on the 22. But maybe there’s something about BART riders that I don’t know?

Whenever I have visitors in town, this is my usual Muni-orientation talk:
– $2, try exact change or 3-day pass.
– Keep your transfer; it’s good for any direction.
– Step down to exit
– Some bus signs are simply painted on telephone poles (I think visitors find this consistently confusing).

Then I just give them a route map and they’re on their way.

What else would you tell a Muni newbie?

Least-favorite BART commuters

"Whatchya Readin'?"
Photo by dannyman

CCT has the deets. Here are some highlights:

Music demon
He’s listening to this music, and it’s so loud you don’t need to share his headset — you can hear it at the other end of the carriage. He won’t have any hearing left in 12 months if he keeps up this noise level. Despite the misconception that this is not limited to young people and rap music, this blasting of tunes is also regularly displayed by 30-somethings with country tracks and the familiar middle-aged AC/DC fan in his business suit — easy to spot with the foot beating to Angus Young’s guitar.

Headbanger
Not to be confused with the Music Demon, these are the BART riders who wear their handbags, satchels or computer bags over their shoulders and walk down the center aisle banging heads and shoulders as they go, oblivious to the damage they cause. This species is often experienced in the center aisle on domestic flights as well. Be careful because they are also known to attack your cheek, your ears and the occasional eye. Advice: Put your bag on the floor between your feet. I would like to get off the train in a half-hour without damage to my facial features.

Read more at Contra Costa Times, whose URL-generation baffles the mind …

Thank you, friendly 23 driver, from awkward bike girl

Bikes On The Bus
Photo by Flickr user Pete Boyd

I just got my first ‘grown-up’ bike this week! In preparation for loading it on the bus, I watched a YouTube video on how to use the bike rack on Muni. I was set!

That is, until I didn’t place the hook over the wheel properly. Bumping over the St. Francis hills on Monterey boulevard, my bike almost fell off the rack. Thankfully, the driver stopped in time, and was really friendly and patient while I fought with the rusty wheel hook and put it properly in place.

I was so embarrassed, but the driver was so nice and encouraging, I felt a lot better about it.

I ended up on his bus on the way home a few hours later, and he told me to take my time to get it right this time around. I thanked him, but forgot to ask his name.

So, again, thanks friendly driver with the Muni beanie on the 23 route between 6:00 and 11:00pm on May 20, 2010. You made my evening!

– Laurel, the awkward bike girl

Late night commercial shoot in West Portal station

West Portal Station
Photo by Flickr user Whole Wheat Toast

Rider Chris saw something “indelibly strange” at the West Portal station last night:

Around 10:30 p.m., a full film crew (lighting, boom mics, folding chairs chairs; the whole shmear) was shooting a T-Mobile commercial on the inbound platform of West Portal station. Apparently some high-caliber “account executives” were on-scene to watch the filming take place, explained a production assistant (who was very clearly amped on something stronger than mere caffeine.)

Now, as this film shoot was happening, passengers and trains kept filing onto the platform as normal. Grandmothers with laden grocery bags consistently strode stolidly past the unmoving security guys and directly through the shoot. Utter chaos.

I have no idea how this concept got OK-ed by anyone (both on the commercial “creatives” side and in MUNI) but the pure and obvious silliness of the logistical problems posed by the outgoing trains and the waves of passengers still issuing through the station made for depths of absurdity that even Muni rarely reaches.

Alas, Chris was caught without a camera (dude, camera phone!).  If you captured this silliness (which I would loved to have witnessed), send us the photos, please!

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