Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Can I Ruffle the Feathers on Your Sweater?

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Oreo Posing in his St. Patricks Day Sweater
Photo by Flickr user sheepguardingllama

Last Friday, I was riding the 12 home after work from SOMA to the Mission. I was staring off into space when the man sitting next to me said, “Excuse me?” I looked up, thinking he might be looking for directions or have some sort of question.

“I don’t know if you know this, but you have feathers or fuzz all over your dress — on the back, and sleeve…”

I looked at my sleeve. It was true. The combination of black dress and fuzzy sweater meant that there was weird linty fuzz all over me.

“Oh yeah, there is. Thanks for letting me know,” I replied.

“Do you want me to wipe it off of you?” He asked me.

The thought of this mild-mannered but still very creepy man touching me in any way was not appealing, so I told him it was fine and that I was heading home soon anyway.

“Well,” he said. “So what’s your sweater made out of?”

Really not wanting to engage any further, I looked at the tag of my cardigan.

“Uh… looks like viscose, cotton and angora,” I read off.

He smiled at me, and I went back to staring out the window. About four stops later, he got off.

I don’t mind making conversation on the bus, but here’s a pro tip: asking other riders if you can touch them — probably not a good idea.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

Boom Box vs The New Yorker, From Our Story Tent

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Ahem, is this thing on?

“A brown liquid was found on Muni line 46 today. Passengers were throwing up when the discovery was made, making this the most amazing bus line in the city today.”

Don’t worry, it’s not true. This is just one of the Muni Mab Libs submitted at the Muni Diaries Story Tent at Outbound, hosted by us and Secession Art and Design on Friday night. Secession Art and Design curated an amazing show, featuring the work of Nate1, Eddie, Duerone, and a collection of wearable art. At our Muni Diaries Story Tent just outside of Secession, we heard some hilarious Muni stories like the one that Mary told in the video above, about a war between a boom box and The New Yorker.

We also collected your brilliant Muni Mad-Libs:

“Riding Muni is better than a night on the cornfields with numerous lucky ladies.” – David.

“Riding Muni is like dating a dude who is clueless about your needs and full of surprises, except it’s never the pleasant kind.” – Fabulous R.

“Riding Muni is better than taking a hot jello bath with Jesse Helms on a summer day in North Carolina on mescaline.” – Felix.

Yow!

If you haven’t made it to Secession yet, be sure to check out Nate1’s paintings featuring BART and Muni, Eddie’s large-scale work that you probably recognize from the streets, and Duerone’s handpainted boxcars. Secession also hosts designers of wearable art, including work from Colleen Mauer, Heather Robinson, and Rachel Znerold.

We’ll be airing more of the stories we collected Friday night this week, and watch our Twitter feed for more Muni Mad Libs submissions from the evening.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , ,

Muni Rider Roasting on the 24

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Photo by Rick Audet

As I was riding the 24 home from work last week, two young men boarded the bus and immediately started sizing up the other riders in the back of the bus for potential roastability. Not finding enough meat for their roast they declared the bus “dry” as opposed to this morning’s selection which had been “wet.” This was a fairly incredible assessment, seeing as how the 24 is (always) stuffed to the gills with riders.

The roasters, doing their best with the available material, declared that “that dude there has a potato-head” (he didn’t). They then moved on to a young man who was listening to his ipod and had the luxury of pretending not to hear “look at this dude, he look like something out of mario brothers” (he didn’t). They then went on to mock his plain white t-shirt, cap and less than manicured fingers.

Meanwhile I’m feeling less and less comfortable, for the obvious reason that if unkempt nails were grounds for harassment, I could well be next. But mostly because I felt this was completely inappropriate. I mean, who does that? And why?

My stop was still three blocks away when I felt I could not handle it anymore. They had moved on to fresh meat, an older gentleman whose ear hair was somehow offending them (it wasn’t), when I vacated my seat. Clumsily and apologetically, I made my way to the front of the bus through the sea of fellow-riders. When I reached the front I reported to the driver that there were two young men harassing people in the back of the bus. The driver stood up and called to the back of the bus that they needed to “show some respect.” Feeling useless and edgy I then exited the 24, two stops early.

On my long walk home I thought of all the other ways the situation could have been handled. I had fantasies of rallying the other riders and declaring that we’re not going to take it! We’re all on the same bus here! We all have the right to a peaceful ride! Some of my less mature fantasies included roasting the aggressors: “your hair looks like bubble wrap!” and “if you’re lucky you might grow into those pants someday, son!” I digress.

Has anyone else witnessed a rider roasting? There must be a more effective way to handle it than to hassle the bus driver who is 20 ft and 30 people away….

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,
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