Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Creative descriptions of eau de Muni

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MUNI F Line 1057
Photo by juicyrai

Muni is many things to many people. In addition to being a place where couples meet, where stories are shared with strangers, and where we get to see exotic animals without having to bother with the zoo, Muni is, as we’re all too well aware, a moving cauldron of odors. Sometimes good, usually bad. Of course, Muni also happens to be filled with plenty of wonderfully creative people. And they have Twitter accounts.

Here are some of the better Muni smell descriptions we’ve seen in the last month or so:

@holyempressqb: “shoutout 2 whoever that is that smells like febreeze on muni right now” on June 15.

@kkblabs: “This woman on the1 rly needs 2close her pits!! Smells like my hot yoga studio but filled w hippies+Mexi food+used diapers! :-x” on June 16.

@nikilips: “The 22 smells like chocolate raspberry deliciousness. Mmm mmm muni.” on June 16.

@NillaBeans: “Pro: 38 Limited arrived quickly. Con: It smells like a woodburning stove. The mysteries of Muni will never cease to amaze me.” on June 24.

@coreyr: “my son upon stepping onto a muni metro train thick with the smell of marijuana: dad, it smells like stinky blueberries.” on June 27.

@cwbayarea: “Public transportation is not going my way today. This muni smells like rotten hot dogs…” on June 24.

So, now that we’ve brought it up, (I’m totally gonna regret asking, but …) what does Muni smell like to you right now?

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags:

A better way to transfer between Muni and BART

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The awesome Mr Eric Sir has a great idea for easier BART-to-Muni or Muni-to-BART transfers:

See? We eliminate two flights of stairs and save up to 5 minutes or so.

So what’s the rub, why didn’t they build the station like this in the first place?

It seems there simply isn’t enough room to have all the extra faregates and ticket machines we’d need on the station platforms. Or at least, it USED to be that way.

But now that we have Clipper, couldn’t we make do with less? All you’d have to do is exit Muni and tag on to Bart. Or in the other direction, tag off Bart and on to Muni.

Muni trains already have Clipper machines inside the train, and it’s a proof-of-payment system, so gates aren’t really needed. Bart could just have a couple faregates at the platform level. It wouldn’t have to take up too much space.

Wethinks this should be on a list of shovel-ready, high-priority stimulus jobs. You listening, Mr. Prez?

Above ossum grafik by Mr Eric Sir.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

Video diary: ‘So determined to sit in that goddam seat’

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Here’s another video shot at last week’s opening of Outbound at Secession Art and Design. Tracy told us about a Muni ride early in his SF tenure. In a borrowed tuxedo, he witnessed what can happen when two women argue over who gets the one open seat on the bus. And what the rest of us do when that happens, sadly.

Other video diaries from the Outbound opening:
– Mary: The boombox vs. The New Yorker
– Zore: What Happens When a Chicagoan Gets on Muni

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

‘Poker Face’ Sing-Along on F-Market

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Muni 1052 FW 2
Photo by Flickr user The Holy Hand Granade

100 Muni Stories“And baby when it’s love, if it’s not rough, it isn’t fun.” We flippin’ love it when random strangers start singing together on Muni.

This funny experience happened to me and a group of friends on the eve of Valentine’s Day. We were on the F Market streetcar at Fisherman’s Wharf and the streetcar was very crowded. My friends were from the East Bay and have never experienced Muni life, but this streetcar ride made it very interesting.

A man in the back of the train was very loud and kept saying random things, like “KEEP YOUR BAGS AND WALLETS CLOSE TO YOU.” I thought, “Oh God, not one of these rides again.” But my friends were actually having a good time, enjoying his loudness.

The train was moving slowly out of the Wharf area and the man in the back of the streetcar started singing parts of a song. Well, he was combining two of Lady Gaga’s songs, “Bad Romance” and “Poker Face,” and it was only a small section of the songs. My friends and I couldn’t stop laughing, nor could the other passengers.

Suddenly, my friends started singing “Poker Face” from the beginning. I joined in and then more passengers joined our choir group. The song ended when the man in the back totally killed the song by singing that small section out loud and off-key. Things were going pretty okay until the man walked over to the front of the streetcar. By now he was being really loud, announcing that “I believe in Satan” and started to get closer to me.

My friends seemed a little freaked out, but soon it was our stop, and we got out of that streetcar quick. This was an experience that we would never forget.

P-p-p-poker face p-p-poker face…Got another Muni story to share? Do it here.

Category: 100 Muni Stories, diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Can I Ruffle the Feathers on Your Sweater?

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Oreo Posing in his St. Patricks Day Sweater
Photo by Flickr user sheepguardingllama

Last Friday, I was riding the 12 home after work from SOMA to the Mission. I was staring off into space when the man sitting next to me said, “Excuse me?” I looked up, thinking he might be looking for directions or have some sort of question.

“I don’t know if you know this, but you have feathers or fuzz all over your dress — on the back, and sleeve…”

I looked at my sleeve. It was true. The combination of black dress and fuzzy sweater meant that there was weird linty fuzz all over me.

“Oh yeah, there is. Thanks for letting me know,” I replied.

“Do you want me to wipe it off of you?” He asked me.

The thought of this mild-mannered but still very creepy man touching me in any way was not appealing, so I told him it was fine and that I was heading home soon anyway.

“Well,” he said. “So what’s your sweater made out of?”

Really not wanting to engage any further, I looked at the tag of my cardigan.

“Uh… looks like viscose, cotton and angora,” I read off.

He smiled at me, and I went back to staring out the window. About four stops later, he got off.

I don’t mind making conversation on the bus, but here’s a pro tip: asking other riders if you can touch them — probably not a good idea.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,
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