Scratching an itch on Muni


Photo by purpletwinkie

Katie posted a story on her Tumblr blog (A Streetcar Called Taraval) that had me covering my face in laughter and horror. Read on:

So I’m riding a 71 from downtown with my boyfriend. At Sixth street, a woman begs the driver, “I don’t have any money, I just need to go to the hospital!” The driver doesn’t have time for her story, so he lets her on without fare. She sits in the designated seating, spread across three seats. She’s wearing an ankle-length skirt. She has a stained T-shirt stretched over pendulous breasts that reach her navel. She has a shock of bright pink hair and is about 5’3” and 350. It’s late December, and she’s smiling and wishing a Merry Christmas to all of the riders.

All the locals summarily ignore her because we’re used to sixth street crazies on the bus. Then she starts itching her leg. She works her skirt up a little bit and claws at her calf. Whatever. A couple of tourists get on the bus with their muni 3-day passports. They look like a young couple from New England. The woman wishes them a drunk “Merrrrry Christmuss!!” and smiles. They awkwardly exchange a holiday greeting back. This woman has since moved on to itching her inner knee…. Her skirt is hiked up a little bit more, so she can reach it. She’s still overflowing with holiday cheer.

Finish reading Katie’s story on A Streetcar Called Taraval.

Have Muni write a doctor’s note when Munifail occurs

SF Appeal and everyone in San Francisco with a Twitter account reports on nearly systemwide service issues this morning.

And so Muni rider Kath decided to take matters into her own hands, so to speak:

Yes, I was late today — very late — despite leaving early in hopes of having time to grab a cup of coffee before work. And yes, it was Muni’s fault… it took 20 minutes to get from Castro to Van Ness (via metro tunnel), for starters. So, yes, I DID make them write me a late note when I finally got to Embarcadero station. I plan on doing this every time they make me late from now on. And I encourage you to do the same!

— Kath

PS: of course, the delay really started at 7.45A this morning, but for this first-time late note I’ll take what I can get.

Go, Kath!

MUNI HULK BREAK SILENCE

On October 28, 2010, the world was treated to the arrival of Muni Hulk on Twitter (where else?). The world got a glimpse at Muni Hulk’s bus rides:

“HULK WORRIED HULK LOOK CRAZY ON TRAIN. HULK NOT YELLING TO SELF, HULK YELLING WHILE PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS!”
“HULK WATCH YOUNG MAN PICK NOSE FROM 19TH TO 30TH AVE. HULK NOT ONLY BIG GREEN THING ON TRAIN.”

Muni Diaries spoke with the Hulk recently and got to the bottom of some very important matters.

Muni Diaries: What routes does Muni Hulk ride?

Muni Hulk: HULK RIDE LINES 1, 1, 3, 5, 8, 13….

MD: How does Muni Hulk fit into bus seats?

Muni Hulk: YOU CALLING HULK FAT?

MD: What does Muni Hulk do when someone smells bad on the bus?

Muni Hulk: HULK HOLD BREATH UNTIL HULK TURN TURQUOISE

MD: Who is Muni Hulk’s greatest friend/foe?

Muni Hulk: HULK’S BEST FRIEND IS SUTRO TOWER. HULK GREATEST FOE IS NAIL CLIPPING LADY.

MD: What are Muni Hulk’s special powers?

Muni Hulk: STRETCHY PANTS

MD: What is a Hulk smash on Muni?

Muni Hulk: HULK SMASH WHEN HULK GET SHORT TURNED. HULK SMASH WHEN HULK GET GHOST BUS! NO SMASH ON CROWDED BUS. THAT CAUSE DELAY.

MD: Does Muni Hulk direct more rage at Muni employees, or fellow passengers?

Muni Hulk: HULK RAGE AT PASSENGERS. LOUD MUSIC NO HEADPHONES GUY, NOSE PICKER, AND SUNFLOWER SHELL SPITTER ALL MAKE HULK RAGE.

MD: Has Muni Hulk ever toppled a light-rail vehicle?

Muni Hulk: WHEN HULK GET ON LIGHT RAIL VEHICLE IT BECOME HEAVY RAIL VEHICLE.

MD: What is Muni Hulk’s Number 1 wish for Muni and its passengers?

Muni Hulk: HULK WISH EVERYONE GET THERE ON TIME!

Keep up with the Muni Hulk on Twitter.

Meanwhile, on @munidiaries


Photo by @thedrun

The @munidiaries Twitter feed is a constant stream of the hilarity that happens on your daily commute. Blink and you might miss @thedrun‘s Twitpic of a man puzzled by the bus shelter’s message (above). If you aren’t a Twitter fiend like us (and @munidiaries‘ 3200+ followers), we’ve picked out this week’s most awesome tweets that made us spit out our coffee.

Meanwhile, on @munidiaries…

@danapczynski: Woman on Muni has popeye’s chicken. My repulsion and compulsion are indiscernible

@gamewit: Pretty sure this guy in front of me on Muni chain smokes to cover up his BO.

@misstillytilly: First time riding the 14 muni to the mission, and just saw a hobo pull out a can of beer that was hidden inside his prosthetic arm

@mmmmmria: Just saw a guy pay for muni fare with a balloon animal 🙂

Ok one more:

@jennstover: Someone on muni is wearing toe socks with the toes cut off & flip-flops. This is not ok.

Follow us on Twitter and tweet your Muni ride to @munidiaries. Your tweet might end up here next week!

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