Top Google Places Muni Review: ‘Dearest 49-Van Ness’

El Balazo
Photo by juicyrai

At last night’s Reunion/Open-Mic event, Anna Conda announced the winner of our Google Places Muni Review contest. “puckpuck” took it home with his review of the 49-Van Ness, read on stage brilliantly last night by Anna:

Dearest 49 Van Ness, How are things? I haven’t seen you since the budget cuts. It’s been a while hasn’t it. How is your little sister 47? Last time I saw her she was heading to the train station. Did she make it there alright? I miss seeing you two regularly. I always knew I could count on one of you showing up when I needed. It didn’t matter who, you were both close. But 49, I liked you the best as you very well know. 47 just likes to play at Fisherman’s Warf. You were always the more responsible one. Working hard to go to City College. And you and I both liked to hang out in the mission. Hey, remember that time you called it an early night and left me at oak and market? I had to wander around those maze of streets to look for the owl. Ended up riding with drunks and the working class. I hated you so much for that. But looking back at it now, it really was kind of funny. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I ended up moving to Alamo Square and met a girl on Filmore. She’s 22 (young I know). We go to the Marina and hang out with Crissy. You should come with us sometime! If you can get past Fort Mason. It would be really handy. Don’t worry, I know how it is. I won’t hold my breath. I don’t need to now with the 22, haha, I’m kidding. I know that’s unfair. It’s not your fault you have to work with the 14. He’s a hard worker but it definitely shows. I know things aren’t the same with us, but I think of you often and I wont forget you easily 49. You will always be my 7×7! xoxo

If you haven’t written a review yet, it’s not too late. We still have several runner-up $50 prizes to dole out, so head over to Google Places and review the Muni route of your choice. We can’t wait to read them!

Photo Diary: Muni Disco Party In My Ears

@WilmaPearl spotted this ultra-cool lady on Muni the other day:

In other news this morning: girl on Muni with fuzzy disco ball headphones. Scattered light and everything!

That is exactly how I want to start my Mondays. I’m not sure what she’s listening to, but I am hoping it involves “Night Fever,” at least. Take a listen.

Makes you miss the days of the first Muni party in this 1980s flashback, doesn’t it?

How to Pick Up Chicks on Muni

Muni has already been voted as the best place to meet singles, so it was fitting that AskMen.com put together a handy guide of “Picking Up Women on Public Transit” for all the dudes out there who are too busy to go to bars and clubs. Muni has also been the training ground for pickup artists a little while ago when that awful book was still hot. So let’s see what the dating experts have to say about getting flirty during your commute.

The gurus at AskMen.com recognize that every guy is milliseconds away from being a creep, so most importantly, the guide suggests:

On public transport, it is imperative that you initiate a conversation as soon as the proximity is socially acceptable (for example, when she sits down beside you, you stand beside her). Wait any longer and you’ll come off as a creepy stranger who’s been silently plotting your move for the past five minutes.

You should also have your opening line ready once you approach her. As such:

Essentially, there are three types of opening lines you could use on public transport: situational remarks (“I can’t believe the bus is actually on time for once”), specific compliments (“Nice bag. Where did you get it?”), or something bold and totally out of the blue.

Dudes of San Francisco, may I also suggest, “We should totally tweet about this Muni ride to Muni Diaries.” Try it. It totally works.

Gents, what’s your pickup technique on transit, and ladies, what’s the best overheard pickup line on Muni?

White Whines on Muni

7 Minutes
Photo by Jamison Wieser

We enjoy a good White Whine here on Muni Diaries. We’re as guilty as anyone else: “Why is the internet out?!” “What is wrong with my Muni app!?” “This cheese is too cold!” We posted an analog White Whine on the 5-Fulton and giggled for days. I even made it on the White Whine site a few years ago — enter pride here — for complaining about my RSS feed vis-a-vis a European vacation.

We’re fortunate to be able to whine about tech toys and subpar service in restaurants. Because we relish any chance to poke fun at our privileged selves, we compiled our favorite Muni-related first-world problems as they’ve filtered into @munidiaries on Twitter. Here’s a few of our faves.

You’re on notice, Apple, Inc:

Thanks Muni. Going to miss my Apple genius bar appt now.

Struggling so hard to make it back to Pac Heights from SOMA on Muni. iPhone you’re failing me… And you NEVER FAIL ME.

You’ll get used to it. Sort of:

ugh why is my class tomorrow at 8:30 in FISHERMAN’S WHARF THAT IS SO FAR AWAY I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THE MUNI

Probably my favorite. Well done:

Could really have used wifi on the muni this morning. Yes, I’m ready for the last refuge from email to be surrendered. #brainimplantsnow

Here’s to the be-MacBooked, and the be-smartphoned. May all our whines always be, er, white.

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