Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Man Successfully Reaches New Low at Millbrae BART

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Photo by Charles Haynes

Transit etiquette and decent human behavior, yet again, flew out the window at Millbrae BART, dropping the chivalry index to a record low.

No, seriously. This was my morning: BART was running at least 15 minutes late to Millbrae, so people on my BART train making the Millbrae Caltrain connection were getting visibly antsy. It looked like we would miss the bullet train, after which the local Caltrain only comes every hour. As the Millbrae BART train pulled in, we could see that a Caltrain was already waiting at the opposite platform, but we would have to go upstairs to cross the platform and then down another set of stairs to catch it.

The BART train stops and everybody makes a mad scramble to the fare gates. As I walked up to the faregate and reached out to scan my Clipper card, a young man (Silicon Valley type, corporate backpack), leaped over two other people to jump in front of me to scan his Clipper card.

His Clipper card didn’t scan so the fare gate was still closed, so he hoisted himself up to jump the gate, kicking up his feet to nick me right in the shin, breaking skin (I was wearing a skirt and heels on account of the great weather today). No apologies.

None of us made the train.

How about this for an etiquette rule: don’t take fellow riders out at the knees (or the shins). Now does anyone have a Band-Aid for me?

Category: BART, Caltrain, diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Muni as the Common Denominator

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Photo by adrianelliot

When you ask the average San Franciscan to sum up what it’s like to ride Muni, chances are the word “crazy” would appear somewhere in their description.

theordinaryday shared a related something that they overheard on Muni recently. It made us chuckle:

A: I’m really crazy
B: Lots of crazies in here
A: Yeah, in here I’m normal even if I’m crazy
B: Maybe you’re normal in crazy scale — percentage-wise.

See? Sometimes Muni is therapeutic.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

Clipper (Clipper) Trip (Trip)

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My photographer friend Matt called especially to tell the story of this photo. Excellent from-the-hip composition, and possibly our sharpest full-frontal nail-clipping view.

For context, Matt doesn’t ride Muni that often. It’s like going to Disneyland for the first time!

Anyway, he enters the Embarcadero station and sees signs for Clipper. “Hmm,” he thinks. Clipper. New ticketing service, perhaps? No matter. He gets on an outbound train and sits across from this woman on the left. After a bit of chatter with her riding partner, she produces fingernail clippers from her backpack and (you guessed it) starts clipping her nails — shrapnel flying every which way — while continuing to chat. Making little effort to control his facial expressions, Matt silently scans for brothers and sisters in arms. He sees one other noticer looking back at him, shaking her head and smiling that, “Yep, I see what you see and it ain’t pretty,” smile.

Since Matt just saw signs for “Clipper” and is now seeing a woman clipping her nails, this is starting to feel like the strangest trip. Not literally, but, yeah, also literally.

He takes this single frame seconds before she leaves the bus, leaving behind her fingernail detritus and Matt’s indignant disgust. I personally wouldn’t groom in front of the guy holding full camera gear, but I also wouldn’t clip my nails on Muni. (Can you imagine if I did and got shamed on my own website?)

Welcome, Matt. We’ve been waiting for you among the clippings.

Itching (scratching, even) for more? Nail clipping on another Muni Metro. Nail clipping on the bus. Muni driver nail clipping on break, what?!

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

Don’t Be an Effin’ A-hole on Muni!

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Yes, yes, yes, 100 times yes.

Humorist Streeter Seidell posted this on his website yesterday, and I think Muni should hire him to make similar ones in San Francisco. He describes his project simply:

I’d like to launch an awareness campaign aimed at rude New Yorkers, written in a style they’ll understand, so that one day, maybe, they won’t be quite so shitty.

Among the offenders called out:

  • Skateboarders on the platform.
  • People who lean on the poles so others can’t hold on.
  • The very-special bag that gets its own seat.

I’d say we need something about step down/back door, but if the LARGE RED LETTERS already on the doors don’t work, well…

What are your suggestions for not being a fucking asshole on San Francisco public transit?

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

NYC Subway-Riding Goat Steals the Show

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Photo: Allison Joyce for Reuters

You have go(a)t to be kidding me.

Appropriately, our friends at Tiny Rides sent us this New York City Subway-riding goat, Cocoa. Cocoa (!) loves people, and she can’t sleep at night unless owner and Joisey resident Cyrus Fakroddin is in eyeshot. In a Reuters photo shoot by Allison Joyce, Cocoa is doing everything from hanging in Central Park to catching the C train from Columbus Circle. What a polite-seeming passenger, no? Check out Cocoa’s adventures on Buzzfeed.

Muni has its share of cute animals on the bus, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen a goat. Unless you have? Send us any and all cute Muni cargo today.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs
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