Category: diaries

How to Pick Up Chicks on Muni

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Muni has already been voted as the best place to meet singles, so it was fitting that AskMen.com put together a handy guide of “Picking Up Women on Public Transit” for all the dudes out there who are too busy to go to bars and clubs. Muni has also been the training ground for pickup artists a little while ago when that awful book was still hot. So let’s see what the dating experts have to say about getting flirty during your commute.

The gurus at AskMen.com recognize that every guy is milliseconds away from being a creep, so most importantly, the guide suggests:

On public transport, it is imperative that you initiate a conversation as soon as the proximity is socially acceptable (for example, when she sits down beside you, you stand beside her). Wait any longer and you’ll come off as a creepy stranger who’s been silently plotting your move for the past five minutes.

You should also have your opening line ready once you approach her. As such:

Essentially, there are three types of opening lines you could use on public transport: situational remarks (“I can’t believe the bus is actually on time for once”), specific compliments (“Nice bag. Where did you get it?”), or something bold and totally out of the blue.

Dudes of San Francisco, may I also suggest, “We should totally tweet about this Muni ride to Muni Diaries.” Try it. It totally works.

Gents, what’s your pickup technique on transit, and ladies, what’s the best overheard pickup line on Muni?

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

Muni Bus for Sale

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Got a spare $12K laying around? If you do, check out this steal: a 1969 GMC Fishbowl New Look bus with a rad orange Muni paint job is up for auction on eBay. You read that right: There’s a Muni bus for sale. We’ve told you about New Look buses on Muni Time Capsule before. Check out that post if you’re thinking about making a bid.

This isn’t the first bus on sale — the guys at SFist spotted another bus for sale last year. We’ve also seen a Muni fare box for sale on Craigslist. If you’re the one who bought that fare box, why not buy a bus to keep it company? Or maybe this is perfect for the kind of person who’d buy a Muni shelter?

We’ll do our best to keep up with the auction and get in touch with the winning bidder.

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Amazemagismic or Awful? Write Your Own Muni Review and Win $100

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Outbound train
Photo by Charles Nadeau

What do YOU think of your Muni line? Write your wittiest, most entertaining review of a Muni line on the Muni Google Places page. We have five prizes to give out to the funniest reviews, like this one that we just saw on the Muni Google Places page:

“The 27-Bryant is an amazemagasmic 5-star experience. For a paltry $2 cover charge you get non-stop entertainment for your many-stop trip from the TL crazies to the outer Mission crazies. Live poultry? Done! Mysterious smells and ownerless toddlers? Done! Ranting dude in a wheelchair going only 2 stops and then after deboarding gets up and walks around thanks to the MIRACLE OF MUNI? Done! Muni needs to have a full bar in the back of every bus, and then I’ll never leave.”

Ah, the miracle of Muni. You heard it here first.

Use the hashtag #munidiaries to let us know you want your review considered for the contest.

Muni Review Contest on Google Places
Where: Muni on Google Places
How: Write your wittiest review of a Muni line, using #munidiaries to enter the contest
Prize: Top prize: $100 to Hog and Rocks and see your review performed on stage by Anna Conda. We also have $50 gift certificates for four more reviewers so start mouthing off today!

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Act of Kindness on the 3-Jackson

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thank you, eugenia
Photo by mioi

100 Muni StoriesFrustuck shares this heart-warming tale. As much as it can bring out the worst in people, sometimes, Muni brings out the best, too.

I am unemployed and living without an income. While I am scrambling to find work, I am trying to stay current by going to workshops. Everyone everywhere wants me to be proficient in Microsoft Excel. I managed to get into a highly coveted workshop on the subject that was scheduled to be six afternoons long. September 7 was the first class. It started at 1:30.

The day before was horrific for me for a variety of reasons. I cried most of the day. I decided to try to get some extra sleep before the workshop on the 7th. I set my alarm clock for 12. My alarm clock thought I meant midnight. I woke up very well-slept at 12:23. I jammed out the door and got to the workshop five minutes late. They would not let me in.

I was flooded with tears on my way back home on the 3-Jackson. The whole bus saw me crying. Bless their hearts, some people even asked me if I was okay. I apologized and told them I would be fine, but I could not stop crying. I really needed that workshop, and I was emotionally hungover from the previous day. I really, really wanted my mommy.

On her way to the back door, a tall, thin, elegant, white-haired woman put her hand on my shoulder, got up very close to my face and whispered, “I hope it gets better.” I thanked her profusely and she got off the bus.

Two minutes later I looked down and noticed that there were two $20 bills in my lap.

I went to Trader Joe’s. I bought spinach and cheese and bread and yogurt and coffee and half-and-half. All of it will be delicious, but even more so because of that woman’s kindness.

What random acts of kindness have you seen on Muni lately? Share them on Muni Diaries.

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