Eugenia Chien has been eavesdropping on the 47, 49, or 1 lines since the mid-90's. She lives by the adage, "Anything can happen on Muni" (and also, "That's not water.")

How to Catch a Muni Bus

The wires came off

From Muni rider Axel Feldheim:

I reported this incident my own blog on Monday, April 20, 2009:

I was riding the 22 Fillmore this afternoon, & at 16th & Bryant the driver shut the door on a woman running for the bus. She yelled & pounded on the bus to no avail. Then while the bus was waiting at the stop light, she pulled it off of its wire. I’ve never seen someone do this before. She caught the bus.

Share your Muni riding tips (practice at your own risk, though) and your Muni tales with us.

Photo by Flickr user Juicyrai

Muni Mind Reader: The Humper

hump dayYesterday morning, we posted a story about an alleged perpetrator riding the N-Judah a little too close for most of our comfort. He was deemed the “Muni Humper,” and his story resonated through the intertubes (SFist, NBC, to name a few). Well, our ever-prescient Muni Mind Reader, Tiffany Maleshefski, was on the case before the post went live. Here’s her extrapolation from the dark recesses of the Humper’s brainwaves …

Most people see a crowded bus cruising toward them and their heart sinks, tempers flare, and frustrations are high. If the bus is super crowded, the majority of people will simply hold tight for the next bus. Not me. I see that same bus jam-packed with people and all I see are endless opportunities.

In fact, I’m that guy who you watch squeeze his way through the back door, defying the laws of physics and most of all common sense, because, dude, the driver just said there’s a bus two minutes behind this one. Just wait it out, right? Crowded buses are where I thrive, where I feel alive, where I like to get a free ride. I AM THE HUMPER!

Awwww yeahhhh! Let me just squeeze in over here. That’s it. Woops! “Oh, I’m sorry. Did I bump you?” (Sheepish grin.) Hell yeah I just bumped you, and what’s totally throwing you off right now: I’ve yet to step away! It’s just you, me, my wedding tackle, the corner of your bike messenger bag, and then your sweet bottom for me to press against.

I especially love a rickety ride on Muni, because that means a lot of the work is already done for me. Pothole! “Oh I’m sorry.” Pothole! “Pardon me.” Construction zone! Oh man, here I come! Or a driver who’s heavy on the brake. That’s just a gift from the heavens. I take one step forward, you take one step back, we stay together ‘cuz I’m sick and that’s a fact.

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The Day of the Muni Fails

Today seems to be the day of the Muni Fails. We have a taxi running into 2 cable cars, a Muni driver talking on the cell phone, an old guy driving on the J-Church tracks, and the streetcar stall at Van Ness Inbound that delayed for 15 minutes. Oh yeah, how can anyone forget about the Muni Humper and the racist douchebag?

I’ll comment on one of them since there wasn’t much media coverage on this one. I was riding the L to Van Ness Station when all of a sudden we slowed down. At first, I thought it was a regular stop and go, because that’s what usually happens during rush hour. Then, the operator made an announcement, saying, “There appears to be some delay, we should be moving in a couple of minutes.”

…a couple of minutes later, she said, “There appears to be a stuck train, so they’re working on it, we should hopefully be moving very soon…”

But, eventually, the passengers were told to disembark the broken train as they were “trying to get the train out of there. We hopefully should be moving in a minute or two, maybe three or four.”

As we finally approached Van Ness Station, she thanked everyone for being patient, and, as I got off, there was this guy who thanked the operator for making regular announcements.

Personally, I think this problem could have been avoided if trains were single-tracked around the station, but hey, it’s Muni, powered by shoddy OS/2 run ATC and sometimes patient, frequent-announcer operators, and fare inspectors.

Busdriver talks on nutty passenger’s cellphone

I was on an outbound 24 Bus this afternoon. Fairly empty. As we zig-zagged from 30th to Mission to Cortland, there seemed to be an agitated passenger bugging the driver. Well, that’s how it looked from the back of the bus where I couldn’t exactly hear the words the guy was saying.

He was yelling, “Hurry up!” presumably at the traffic in front of us, then he leaned across the driver and HONKED THE HORN. I thought (in a selfish muni-riding way) “Oh crap, now we’ll be delayed while the driver deals with this nut.”

Alas, I misread the situation. The nutty guy turned out to be a friend of the busdriver and he was just goofing around. OK! Friends of the driver can honk the horn, check. Also, he dialed a phone and handed it to the driver to talk on.

Here’s the driver on the phone:

on the 24

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Hump-and-Run on the N-Judah (updates, w/NBC news video)

N-Judah Approaching
Photo by Flickr user Anna Conti

(see updates below the fold)

Original post: So I’m submitting this on behalf of a friend who is mortified by this and doesn’t want to relive the experience. Three times now she’s encountered this guy on the N Judah who likes to grind on women on crowded N-Judah trains. She calls him, “the Muni humper.”

Twice now he’s humped on her and once she witnessed him humping the shoulder of a woman who was sitting down. Once this guy notices his hump victim is on to him, he quickly gets off the train.

She describes him as young, short, “kind of squatty,” and said that each time she saw him he was wearing a baseball hat and a T-shirt with anime or some sort of T.V. characters on it. Oh, and he seems to like to strike during the evening rush hour. All you shoulders out there, beware!

Photo by Flickr user omar nyc

(SFist picked this story up [thanks, guys!], so check there for extra, oh-so-enlightening comments. More comments at NBC Bay Area‘s site and N Judah Chronicles.)

Update 3: NBC Bay Area ran the story, including an interview with commenter Amanda.

 

Update 2: It’s Friday now, nearly two full days since we first posted, and man does this story have legs. NBC reports that not only has SFMTA opened an investigation (see comments, below), but that the SFPD issued a statement on this perp:

SAN FRANCISCO POLICE SEEKING PUBLIC’S HELP IN LOCATING SEXUAL BATTERY SUSPECT

The San Francisco Police Department is seeking the public’s help in attempting to locate Municipal Transit riders who have been victims of a sexual battery. On the morning of May 8, a witness reported seeing the suspect rubbing his pelvis against a woman on the inbound N-Judah line. The victim in the incident has not been identified. The witness also saw the suspect on the outbound N-Judah the same evening. The suspect got off the train at the Powell Street Station. The witness reported the incident to police.

The suspect is described as a Hispanic male, early 20s, 6’, 250 lbs, mustache and goatee with long cornrows on the side of his head down to the collar. He was last seen wearing a black jacket, jeans, and had earrings in both ears.

It is believed that the same suspect has been committing similar sexual batteries that have not been reported. Anyone who has been the victim of this or other incidents should contact the police as soon as possible. Most Muni vehicles are equipped with surveillance video.

For more information please contact:

Public Affairs Office
553-1651

Hear that? The police want you to come forward if you’ve witnessed or been a victim of this lunatic. No need to even go anonymous here. Just please step forward with the authorities, and perhaps we can bring this person to justice and all feel a little better about riding Muni again.

Update 1:

This picture just arrived in our inbox from Amanda, along with the following note:

Hi there,
For the “Hump-and-Run on the N-Judah” article I have a picture of this guy.  He did this to me one day and then I actually saw him on the N the very next day.  What are the odds?  He was wearing the same shirt and still blasting his music from his speakerphone.  I took a picture with my phone – not the best quality but at least you can see what he looks like.  I couldn’t find a place to post the picture with my comment but my friend Kenneth gave me this email address and told me to send it over to you.
Thanks!
Amanda

[photo removed due to pending court matters]

So, Mr. Shoulder-Lover: Is this you? We’d love to hear from you, assuming you’re literate. (-Jeff)

Most epic 9X commute EVER

Share photos on twitter with TwitpicThis happened to me about a week ago. I was running late for work so I hopped on to the last 9X running before it switched to a BX/AX. We were doing fine until the bus started to stall on the 101 going north, then it stopped! From there on we went coasting down the exit with our engine off.

We finally got to the stop after the 101 when the bus driver decided to try to turn the bus on. It worked for a few seconds, then it died on us. So everyone had to get out and wait for the next bus, mind you I was running very late so this was not good to me, But luckily, another 9X arrived a few minutes later, so everyone hopped on this bus and I proceeded to go to the back. I found a seat in the rear of the bus, so I sat down only to find out that the girl in front of me was throwing up. Somehow she got her boyfriend to open the emergency window so she could puke out the window as the bus was going. I’m afraid to say she didn’t always make it outside the window. After moving a few seats away from them, I noticed that the floor had a liquid that was coming from the girl’s direction, Not knowing what it was I just kept my feet up. Eventually they got off and everyone avoided the area. I’m not sure what the Muni driver did about clean up, but every time I hop on the rear of a Muni bus, I look out to see if that seat is the one she threw up on.

More photos after the jump:

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