17 Choice Syllables About Muni From Anna Pulley

Photo by Elton Sin

We saw one hell of a Muni Haiku Battle Saturday night between columnist Anna Pulley and writer James Nestor. Anna’s haikus were too good for you to miss, so here are her poems from the battle. There’s even a feisty title that digs at opponent James. I always find good trash talking totally irresistible, don’t you?

Muni Haikus from Anna Pulley:

Clutching this bus pole
like it was you in my arms …
was going too far.

To the Homeless Man Who Woke Up from His Nap on BART in Order to Masturbate:
My mom once warned that
“self-love” makes you go blind. Now
I know what she meant.

Upon Learning that Pee and Poop Clogged the Civic Center BART Escalators
When it comes to feces,
San Francisco will always
be number 2!

Remembering exact
change is a chore. Clipper?
I hardly know her!

If Muni Drivers Were Tour Guides
To our right, you will
notice human excrement.
This concludes our tour.

I Respect You, James Nestor, but Not as Much as I Respect BART for Finally Replacing those Disgusting Seats with Hose-able Vinyl Ones
The adage’s true:
In time, all things become less shitty,
even BART seats.

To the Girl Trimming her Toenails on the Bus
Attempting to gross
out 40 strangers at once?
Congrats, you nailed it.