Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You(r Muni neighbor)

Jesse was recently, well, bemused on Muni. Here’s why.

I got up to ask the Muni driver if he thought the bus was going to make it to upper Market since the street looked like it was blocked off up ahead. As I was doing this, the crazy guy boarded the bus (an F Bus, btw, since there was something wrong with the streetcars) and started answering my question with “yes, yes, we’ll make it to Church St.,” which in hindsight is somewhat interesting because Church was my destination. Crazy guy and I both went to sit in the sideways seats at the front of the bus. I noticed there were two quarters on his seat just as he sat down on them.

I said to him, “Hey man, you just made 50 cents,” as I pointed to the quarters. Without looking at them, he reached back and grabbed them from practically under his ass and held them in his tightly closed fist. He said “Here, I can tell you the dates on them.” Then he seemed to concentrate for a second, and said “1977…1995.” He opened his hand and we looked. He was right on both accounts. “I can always predict dates on coins,” he explained. That was just the beginning.

Other topics of conversation covered:

• His Superior Court murder case was dismissed.
• He is turning 41 next week.
• Everyone has transistor radios.
• Fuck his dad.
• His family is trying to kill him.
• He can predict the date on coins. (see above)
• His mom died at 57.
• This is his first day without heroin or methadone.
• He only wears Element shoes but doesn’t skate anymore.
• Fuck his dad for ducking him for his whole life.
• This city is pissing him off.
• His last name rhymes with Bolinas.
• The guy sitting across from us might be his dad.
• He’s got to leave this city before he kills someone again.
• His family is everywhere, even in City Hall.
• Theres photography studios everywhere, and that’s how he knows how to find his dad.
• He can tell that he and I are on the same wavelength.
• Oh, and fuck his dad.

There’s a little something for everyone in that story, we think. What’s your Muni story?