Not the good kind of nudity

Photo submitted by author

In high school, we were broke. So we had to find cheap ways to entertain ourselves, and one of those ways was to take the 38 in from the Richmond and take the now-defunct 42 Downtown Loop to the old Tower Records and the Wharf.

One fateful day, my friend Bob and I were on the 42, sitting in the second-to-back row on the driver’s side. It was fairly crowded, but not uncomfortably so. We were minding our own business, talking about Man of La Mancha or whatever the hell it is we talked about in high school.

Eventually, we noticed some kind of commotion near the front of the bus, and a handful of people getting off. We tried to see what was going on, but there were too many people. Eventually, more people got off and we saw a totally naked middle-aged woman ambling around the front of the bus.

About that time, she decided to find a better seat. Namely the far back corner, usually occupied for young smartasses such as ourselves. She made her way to the back of the bus, and tried to snag one of the back seats, but they were all occupied.

Did I mention I was in the window seat, and Bob was in the aisle seat?

So as the randomly naked woman is trying to negotiate with the people in the back row and the nurse who happens to be on board and trying to help her, her bare ass is getting closer and closer to Bob’s head, even though by this point he’s practically sitting on my lap. I turn my head toward the window, trying not to actually laugh out loud, when all of a sudden I notice he’s no longer sitting next to me. I look to the right (much to my regret) and then I look up forward just in time to see a Bob-Colored blur shooting down the stairs and out the door.

I quickly follow him out the door, trusted the randomly naked woman to the nurse, and waited for the next 42.