BART shares common-sense etiquette rules

Because some adults need help chewing their food and tying their shoelaces, BART has put together this tutorial on how not to be an asshole.

A list of no-shit BART rules of thumb:

• 0:20: Look for emptier cars in front or in the back of your train.
• 0:30: Form a line behind the “do not cross this line or you will die” yellow markers.
• 0:37: Get the fuck out of the way so that people on the train can off-board. See also: elevators.
• 0:47: Don’t crowd the door area when there are empty spaces like, three feet away down the aisle.
• 0:57: (everyone’s favorite) Take your goddam backpack off when you’re standing up! And don’t make us tell you again!
• 1:09: Don’t put your feet on the seat or we will beat you to a bloody pulp.
• 1:16: Give up your seat unless you want us to brand your forehead with “asshole” writ large.
• 1:25: Stack bikes when there are more than one. And don’t block the door or aisle with your bike, mkay?
• 1:36: Unless you’re a masochist who enjoys torture by mob, don’t hold the doors open.

There you have it. Thanks, BART. Now we no longer have to deal with any of these transgressions ever again, right?

Did you think they were going to use TLC’s “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack, also? Because at first, I thought they might just use “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack.